Welcome back to the first Ask Julieta of the year!
New year, new us… Right? If there’s any goal to set, let’s get juicy AF with our sexuality and enjoy every minute of it. This month’s questions are not only great, they are ESSENTIALS in how we view our sexuality. Let’s dive in.
Are you into femdom? I would like to start! But…how?
While I’m not personally into femdom, there are many that are - and you could be the next femdom master! I find that the best way to learn about a kink or lifestyle like femdom is from example: Reddit is a really great resource to find fellow femdoms, and also read/learn about best practices + experiences.
Is there a trick to getting the suction cup to stay put on thruster? It always falls.
The trick is on the surface. You really want to make sure your Thruster is being pressed firmly on a flat, hard surface. Anything with texture (like wood or certain plasters) would break the air tight seal you are trying to create. I also find that making sure the suction cup base is completely dry helps, as sometimes lubey hands or too much water in the shower can make the seal not press completely!
I want to watch porn with my partner but don't know how to bring that up. How do I make it not awkward?
In a casual setting, I would bring up that you’ve been wanting to watch porn together - plain and simple, don’t over complicate it! You can mention how you feel safe doing it together, you would like to learn more about what turns them on, and you can also make it a game: Do what the performers do!
If your partner isn’t interested, have a good chat about boundaries, expectations, and where you can meet in the middle.
How long in new relationship should I wait to bring out the toys??
You shouldn’t have to wait at all - toys are an accessory to play, not a milestone! If toys help make your experience better, talk to your partner about starting to use them together. Odds are, your partner will be thrilled you want to bring some extra fun to the bedroom.
Is a thruster a good toy to travel with? Pros/cons?
The Thruster is a lovely toy to travel with, if you’re going to the right location. I take the majority of my Thrusters with me all over America, South America, and Europe without issue. The only place I did not take my Thrusters was Egypt, since they are a muslim country which tend to have a bit of resistance to sex toys & sexuality.
In terms of size, all my Thrusters fit comfortably in my carry on or check in luggage, and are a staple in my travel fun - no cons here!
I still struggle with feeling guilt after watching porn. Will those feelings ever go away?
This feeling is totally normal since most of us grew up in a society that told us sexuality, and indulging in it, was wrong or “dirty”. This causes deep seated feelings of guilt, and you aren’t alone - most of us were or are in the same boat!
I like to change my internal narrative when watching porn. Make a conscious effort to affirm yourself and say “Watching porn is normal because sexuality is normal. My desire to watch and want pleasure is normal”. Simple affirmations like these can help change our emotions and “triggers” towards things we may feel icky on - no more, babe!